Updated: Jun 14
Tay looks like any ordinary Asian guy in his 30’s, stubby, coarse and low voice, easily blends in with the crowd. He was actually born as female, but always identified herself as male. A couple of years ago she decided to take action and changed her gender identity. Tay has an unique family background - His father is serving a life sentence in prison in their home country. The father, who had a military background, was violent and abusive to his own family as well as others. Tay’s mother brought him and his brother to America, and then Canada to stay away from his father. Tay is married now and regards his wife highly, although there are issues because of his own mental instability.
These days he’s angry toward a lot of things and a lot of people. He finds he can't stand any 9 to 5 job - It makes him feel like a slave. His wife supports him to get retrained, but he had to pause his paramedic course due to his severe anxiety. He has thought about killing himself and even tried once before. He feels lost.
It seems the story was right beneath the surface. Tay effortlessly went to a beautiful planet with blue sky, blue water and blue trees, even the ground was made of blue crystal glass. He’s a tall whitish man, naked top showing lots of muscles. His ride was an iridescent neo-coloured unicorn. His life was carefree and prosperous. Everything can be manifested by his mere thoughts. He understood his mother was out there living in a big UFO spaceship somewhere. When I asked him about the name of this planet, he seemed to search from somewhere, then said:” It's Tar…Tar…Tar… Something.”
He was visited by two uniformed guys. They were his old colleagues. He served in the military and retired as a high ranking officer. Now they came to persuade him to go back to the Earth - Apparently he had been there many times, since there are still some jobs left for him to do and karmas to finish. He turned them down. He didn’t like the dense energy on Earth - It always made him feel heavy and unease. They told him he needs to learn how to be humble and respectful. He said:” I hate humans. They are rude, revengeful and stupid!”
Next picture, two lady captains came down from a gigantic flying saucer and walked toward him. They were his friends. They said they also had jobs to do on Earth so they could give him a ride along the way. He felt relieved and thought maybe he should give it another try. I asked him to look into their eyes - He said they were his wife and her sister in this life.
Then I asked him about his jobs on Earth. He said all he needs to do is watch, and report to the two guys back at the base. He is not supposed to interfere or interact too much with earthlings. He should wait for their wake up call and start to do his job. Then he said there were clear signs that they were calling on him last year. But the reality bogged him down terribly. Coming from the carefree alien planet, he couldn’t stand to drag himself to a boring 9 to 5 office work everyday on a tight timer just to live a paycheck by paycheck life. He’s screaming inside. He got high blood pressure, insomnia and anxiety. He was told that’s a test for him, he has to learn how to discipline himself and be functional for his purpose despite all the roadblocks - Part of the learning curve on Earth.
Previously on Earth he’s always the masculine type of warrior or soldier fighting in the battlefield or protecting others - I can tell why paramedic work is so appealing to him. But then gradually he became weary, cruel and ruthless toward others. As he said, humans are stupid, greedy and not trustworthy. “I see with my own eyes how someone betrayed his own family and friends just for his own gain.” He lost faith in humanity.
I said “Yes, It's true there are selfish and stupid people out there. Although I believe in all of your lives on Earth, you must have met some good people. Can you search back in your memory and see if there’s any good ones?”
He paused for a couple of seconds, “ Yes, I see an old lady in a small village. I don’t know her. I was wounded and exhausted, running away from a losing battle. She took me in, fed me and tended my wound. She barely had anything left for herself, and she didn't ask anything in return…” His eyes soaked with tears and voice broke into a sob.
“So, there are good people out there, right?”
“ Yes, there are good people.”
“So do you remember part of your job on earth is to pay back the karma? What do you think you should do differently this time around?”
“ I should be more sympathetic and understanding to others. I should learn how to open myself up, instead of being judgmental and critical. “
“Exactly. We all make mistakes. Love and compassion is the only way to heal the wounds. “
Next I raise the question of transgender. He seemed to search within for a moment and said, “ My grandma and my dad are negative influences in my life. My mom is a great soul but she’s a bit weak. When my mom had me in her womb, my grandma coerced her to have an abortion and brought her to the clinic. So I didn’t make it.”
“Wow, so what happened after that?”
“I went back to my home planet. The two ladies came to me and asked me to try it again. They promised me they will help me. So there I go again. Unfortunately this time my mom gave birth to a girl. So I was supposed to be a boy if I was born in 78, but now I became a girl born in 79. ”
“Is that why you always feel you should be a boy, not a girl?”
“Yes, there’s nothing wrong with being a girl. It’s just I have planned all alone as a guy. Friends to be with and things to do, you know. There are things that are gender specific. “
“Ya, that does mess up with your plan, right! How that make you feel as a girl when you grew up?”
“Extremely uncomfortable! I was always the masculine warrior type in the past. I just didn’t feel I belonged to this body. I hated this body. There were times that I wanted to kill myself almost everyday. So I have to change.”
“How do you feel now about your body?”
Next I asked Tay to look into his father’s life - The father who threatened to kill his mother and him multiple times at gun point. Many memories flashed back. He said: ”He was adopted when he’s young. He‘s never been loved and never knew how to love others. “ Dig deeper Into the memories, he signed, “I think more than that - He’s mentally ill. He couldn’t control himself. He should get treatment. He should be in mental hospital, not in jail.”
In a country where mental issues were largely ignored and every adult male has to serve a period of military service, his mentally-illed father added military skills on top of violent tendency, and ended up killing someone and eventually in jail. Who’s fault was that!
With the new understanding about his father, Tay said - “I think I can forgive him. It’s not all his fault - He’s just sick.” We talked about his karma on Earth. He did a self assessment and said there’s not much Karma left with the family, especially with the forgiveness of his father, so there is a chance that he can go back Home after this trip. He also saw that there’s a lot of Karma left for his father to deal with on Earth.
Next I brought the topics on his emotions. He was quite upset about the daily routine of work - “I don’t want to be a slave! I wanted to work on my soul purpose, but I’m just so stuck in this day by day life. It’s frustrating! “ I invited Tay’s Higher Mind to join us and help him. Words came out from his mouth - "He should know this is a test for him, a road block. He should be more focused on the big picture, instead of being bogged down by the mundane routine, which is just to teach him about self-discipline."
Then I asked the Higher Mind about Tay’s anxiety, anger and suicidal thoughts. I got the answer the Earth is too dense for someone like him, so it’s not so easy for him to adapt. I asked the Higher Mind what if Tay kills himself - I already knew the answer from all my suicidal clients, which is surprisingly quite common for depression patients. It’s critical for him to receive the answer himself from his own Higher Mind - “Then he will have to come back and do everything again.”
His Higher Mind told him: “ Open up yourself, more interaction with others, be compassionate to others and yourself.” The Higher Mind also said that he should finish the training and become a paramedic, since this job not only fit into his soul traits but also great for him to grow compassion toward others.
Tay had this peaceful and knowing expression on his face after emerged from the trance. He said:” There’s a lot for me to think about. “ He left a 5-star review on Google Review for me - “Karen is a compassionate soul. We need more souls like Karen so the world can become a better place.”