Fey came to me for her self-esteem and abandonment issues. She was referred by one of my clients.
Fey is a beautiful tall dark Asian girl in her late 20’s and she used to be a model. Despite how pretty she looks like from appearance, she always has low self-esteem, feels she’s not as good as others, feels she’s a fraud on everything she does. At age 3, her parents sent her to live with her uncle’s family for several years in the countryside since they had busy work and two other younger kids to care - it’s not uncommon in Asian culture, and that cast a scar in her subconscious mind, she felt abandoned ever since. She has been in a series of abusive relationships with violence and drugs involved.
This is the first time I tried Lorna Wilson’s Golden Triangle method, it made me feel calm. No expectations, I remind the client as well as telling myself. Putting out faint Hemi-sync hymns, our journey began.
Fey landed on a dirt hillside, she was a 6 or 7 years old girl, she saw trees, a cow and a teenage boy. She knew her uncle’s home was close by. That’s all she could get from the picture. I confirmed that she’s in her current life and there must be some significance in this, but it’s better to follow the flow.
We went through a timeline from a very young age, one picture by one picture, lots of tears shed. I did some reframing work. She felt the mother’s love, realized on both subconscious and conscious level that she was loved no matter what had happened under circumstances. Then came to her school age, bad moments and good moments all flow through. The door of subconscious memory was wide open. All of sudden, she said she went back to that dirt hillside again, now she saw the picture with much clarity - the boy was about 18 and she’s only 7, he was touching her body. The picture came so abruptly that she didn’t know how to react at the beginning, then she started to cry, from silent tears to loud crying. She felt shameful and vulnerable. I gave her time to feel and express her emotions.
The shame and vulnerable feelings we were holding inside of us, especially for women, whether it’s in our conscious awareness or not, can do a lot of damage to our self-values and relationships with others. The emotions need to be experienced and understood on the conscious level. Once it’s acknowledged, it will release us from its bound.
Came out of the trance, still perplexed, she said she had no idea whether that scene was truly what had happened, but she felt such a relief. She’s very impressed that we brought so much memory out. The past was like bad dreams, haunted her all the time but she couldn’t catch them, and now it’s finally all out there. We were laughing together for her river of tears.
I love this job!
2021-06-01
