Flo is a small Chinese lady, single mother of two. She’s very private, pretty much keeps everything to herself, no friends, no work, no social of any kind. Money comes easy from wealthy overseas parents. She’s quite depressed and her energy level is very low. She came to me for a regression session - She was haunted by her own feelings toward some guy she met over 10 years ago. She said this guy was her old colleague in China and one day out of the blue she got the idea, like a light turned on in her head - “He’s the one! He’s the reason I’m here.” This feeling was very strange since they both had families and she barely knew him. Despite the fact that she did not receive much response, she kept that feeling all by herself since then and it has become an obsession to her on a daily basis over the years. She feels so helpless.
Under the trance, Flo went to a tragically past life intertwined with the menacing background - the War.
The story started to unfold - A beautiful Chinese lady in a dark dotted silk cheongsam, pearl necklace and stilettos. Standing on the street along with many people, she’s watching, with tears in her eyes. They are waiting for something to happen. It looks like a historic harbour city, tall elegant buildings with tower tops. Big ships along the harbour. Strong wind blew through her hair. Then it happened - Soldiers in large numbers, dressed in yellowish green uniforms, carrying guns with shiny bayonets on top, rushed headlong through the street into the ships. She searched everywhere with her eyes anxiously until she found that familiar face gazing back at her from the top deck of the ship. They locked their eyes for the last goodbye as the ship left the port. Tears gush out from her eyes. Everything became still, like a freeze frame, only the wind still blowing.
On demand, her subconscious memory turned back to the earlier time when she started to feel for him. In the countryside, she’s a teenage girl with two long braids. He’s the neighborhood farm boy in a cotton muscle shirt showing his bare arms. He came to visit her often. She felt so good to be in his arms - “He has thick and strong arms”, she said with a shy and sweet smile on her face.
Next moment her face changed into panic - He was grabbed by some soldiers. It’s not an option, he has to join the army and fight for the war. He couldn’t even say goodbye to her. She was desperate.
It must have been a long time until she heard from him again. A new image popped into her mind - “I have a beautiful tight dress on and I wear stilettos. My hair is permed wavy and I look very sexy. I sing and dance for men in a nightclub in a big city. “ Slowly more and more information came through - “ I knew he’s here in the city, so I came here to look for him. He looks so handsome in his officer uniform. I was so happy to see him again. But why his eyes became so cold? What happened to him?…” She searched in her mind for a while. “I think he already got married. His wife is pretty and born from a noble family. She is his superior’s daughter. She’s different from us farmers. I can tell he still cares about me and I know his heart is crying. But it’s too late. He can only watch me from far away. “
She decided to stay in the city to be close to him, so she became a bar girl and her beauty made her popular like flowers attract bees. She knew where her heart was, and she could feel his gaze all the time. She struggled to live in the lowest cluster in the city. Men adored her beauty but treated her like garbage. She saw herself being violated, pregnant, then aborted. She saw herself being spitted on, yelled at and kicked. She saw herself drunk and hobbled on the street, with ragged clothes and messy hair. Tears ran like a river. All the time she knew he’s watching her with cold eyes, and she knew he’s crying inside. She could see that farm boy in a muscle shirt still inside of the uniformed body, calling her name and crying. Then the war broke out in the city, many fled but not her, since she had nowhere to go. She saw Japanese soldiers, they raped her and poked her with their bayonets until she became a pile of flesh and pulp. She died on the street.
Upon death, she moaned, “I have become a big bird, like an eagle. I want to be free, to fly away. I see beautiful rainbows from far far away. But he’s holding on one of my legs. He is still standing straight in the uniform on the deck like I saw him the last time. But the one holding me is the one I knew in a muscle shirt with bare arms - He curled up inside that uniformed body, crying. He won’t let go. He’s begging me to take him with me. But I can’t.” “ What did you do?” “ Nothing… Now he’s holding both of my legs. I begged him to let go, I wanted to be free. But he wouldn’t.…Now I see him, the farm boy I knew, he grabbed a knife and cut his throat…I see the despair in his eyes, the eyes that used to be in my dreams. He looked at me the last time, and finally let go of me…I see the straight up uniformed man went back to his wife, smiled like a zombie, dead inside…Now I’m free. I’m going into the rainbow. There is my new home…
Flo came out of the trance, wiping her eyes while telling me that it’s the same guy and the same story - It looks like they missed each other again in this life. No one can tell what it takes or after how long or how many life times that this could come to an end. Karma will carry the charged energy to wherever it is supposed to go and do whatever it is supposed to do, and they are going to find and lose each other again and again as long as the connection is still there. Only the love will be carried forever and ever, beyond life and death. .
2021-11-20
